Sephardic Jewish Mourning: A Comprehensive Guide to Death and Bereavement

Delve into the rich tapestry of Sephardic Jewish mourning practices, navigating the complexities of death and finding solace.
Death and Bereavement: Navigating the Mourning Process A Comprehensive Guide to Jewish Mourning - from Aninut to Azkara
[Source photo:A Comprehensive Guide to Jewish Mourning - from Aninut to Azkara]

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Death and bereavement are profound aspects of the human experience that confront us with the fragility of life and the complexity of our emotions. In times of loss, turning to our cultural and religious traditions can provide solace, support, and a deeper sense of meaning. For those in the Sephardic Jewish community, Judaism is more than just a religion—it is a way of life woven into the fabric of their identity, values, and daily practices.

Embracing Sephardic Jewish Mourning Practices

In this comprehensive guide, we embark on a journey through the mourning process from a Sephardic perspective. We explore the rich tapestry of customs, rituals, and traditions that offer guidance and comfort during times of death and loss. Rooted in a deep appreciation for the beauty of Judaism, this guide seeks to illuminate the unique aspects of Sephardic Jewish mourning practices, providing insights, guidance, and practical advice to navigate the complexities of grief and honor the memory of loved ones.

The Significance of Judaism in the Face of Death

Judaism, with its rich history and deep spiritual foundation, encompasses more than a set of religious beliefs. It is a way of life that permeates every aspect of existence, providing a framework for personal and communal growth, ethical living, and the cultivation of deep connections with one another and the divine. Sephardic Jews, with their diverse cultural heritage and unique traditions, bring their own distinct perspectives to the mourning process, offering a tapestry of rituals and practices that weave together elements of faith, family, and community.

Exploring the Pillars of Sephardic Jewish Mourning Practices

Throughout this guide, we will explore five essential chapters that form the pillars of Sephardic Jewish mourning practices. From the initial phase of Aninut, marked by sacred rituals and the support of the Chevra Kadisha, to the deeply meaningful customs observed during Shiva, Sheloshim, Avelut, and Azkara, we will delve into the emotional, spiritual, and communal dimensions of death and mourning. Each chapter offers insights into the unique customs, practical considerations, and profound rituals that guide individuals and families through the process of grief and remembrance.

Chapter 1: Aninut – The Sacred Phase Between Death and Burial

In this chapter, we delve into the sacred period of Aninut, which encompasses the time between death and burial. We explore the emotional and spiritual impact of this phase and the customs and rituals observed by Sephardic Jews during this sensitive time of death. The involvement of the Chevra Kadisha, or Burial Society, is highlighted, emphasizing their sacred duty to prepare the body for burial with utmost respect and dignity. We discuss the significance of tahara, the ritual purification of the deceased, and the Sephardic customs that prioritize simplicity and modesty in funeral arrangements. Additionally, we explore the communal act of participating in the burial process by placing dirt into the grave, symbolizing a final act of respect and farewell to the departed.

Chapter 2: Shiva – Embracing Solace and Support During the Mourning Period

During the Shiva period, mourners enter a time of deep reflection and communal support. We explore the customs and practices observed during this week-long period, focusing on the Sephardic perspective. Keriah, the tearing of clothing, is discussed as a powerful act of mourning that expresses the depth of grief. The ritual of washing hands upon returning to the Shiva house is explored, highlighting its symbolic significance. The meal of condolences, known as Seudat Havra’ah, is discussed as a meaningful gathering where nourishment and comfort are shared. The lighting of candles, covering of mirrors, and displaying of pictures are explored as practices that create a sacred and reflective space for mourning.

Chapter 3: Sheloshim – Healing and Reflection in the Thirty-Day Mourning Period

In the Sheloshim period, which spans thirty days, mourners continue their journey of healing and reflection. We delve into the customs and practices observed during this phase, offering insights into the Sephardic approach. The significance of refraining from joyful activities, such as attending celebrations and wearing new clothing, is discussed as a means of honoring the memory of the departed and focusing on the mourning process. We explore the practice of daily prayer and study, known as “Avelut d’Devarim,” which allows mourners to engage in spiritual reflection and find solace in their faith. Additionally, we discuss the importance of supporting the mourners through acts of kindness and communal gatherings, providing comfort and understanding during this extended period of mourning.

Chapter 4: Avelut – Mourning Practices and Observances

In the chapter on Avelut, we explore the mourning practices and observances that extend beyond the Sheloshim period. We delve into the profound impact of Avelut on the lives of mourners and the community as a whole. The significance of refraining from certain activities, such as attending festive gatherings and engaging in personal celebrations, is discussed as a way to honor the memory of the departed and maintain a focus on mourning. We explore the concept of Kaddish, a prayer recited by mourners to elevate the souls of the departed, and the unique customs and variations within the Sephardic tradition. Additionally, we delve into the practice of Azkara, a memorial prayer recited on specific occasions, as a way to remember and honor loved ones who have passed away.

Chapter 5: Azkara – Commemorating the Anniversary of the Passing

In the final chapter, we explore the practice of Azkara, which involves commemorating the anniversary of the passing of a loved one. We delve into the customs and rituals observed during this important milestone, reflecting on the enduring impact of the departed’s life. We discuss the significance of visiting the gravesite and reciting prayers in remembrance. The practice of giving tzedakah (charitable donations) in honor of the departed is explored as a meaningful way to continue their legacy of kindness and compassion. We also discuss the role of community support during this time, as friends and family gather to offer comfort and share memories, reaffirming the connection between the living and the deceased.

Conclusion – Sephardic Jewish Mourning Practices

In this comprehensive guide to death and bereavement from a Sephardic perspective, we have explored the profound customs, rituals, and traditions that guide individuals and families through the mourning process. From the sacred phase of Aninut to the periods of Shiva, Sheloshim, Avelut, and the commemoration of Azkara, we have delved into the emotional, spiritual, and communal dimensions of death and mourning.

Sephardic Jewish mourning practices provide a framework of support, solace, and remembrance, allowing mourners to navigate the complexities of grief with reverence and strength. By honoring the memory of loved ones and drawing upon the wisdom of our traditions, we find comfort, healing, and a deeper connection to our faith and community.

May this guide serve as a source of guidance and comfort for those who mourn, reminding us of the beauty and resilience of the human spirit in times of loss. As we journey through the mourning process, may we find solace in the traditions and customs that bind us together as a community, offering support, understanding, and a profound sense of connection.

Let’s get started.

Resources

Mourner’s Kaddish (Kaddish Yatom), traditionally said by mourners––that is, those who have lost a parent during the previous eleven months or a child, sibling, or spuce during the last thirty days––and by those observing the anniversary of the death of those close relatives. (In many contemporary communities, the full congregation says it in support of the mourners, and in memory of the six million Jews who perished during the Holocaust, assuming that at least one died on any given day.) The mourners Kaddish omits lines 7 and 8 of the Full Kaddish that asks God to answer our prayers, because presumably, God did not grant the mourner’s prayers that the relative recover and live).
אבל: יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא
[קהל: אמן] בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ בְּחַיֵּיכון וּבְיומֵיכון וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשרָאֵל בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן] קהל ואבל: יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא אבל: יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרומַם וְיִתְנַשּא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל שְׁמֵהּ דְּקֻדְשָׁא. בְּרִיךְ הוּא. [קהל: בריך הוא:] לְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא בעשי”ת: לְעֵלָּא לְעֵלָּא מִכָּל וְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן] יְהֵא שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן] עושה שָׁלום בִּמְרומָיו הוּא יַעֲשה שָׁלום עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן]

וְזֹ֖את הַתּוֹרָ֑ה אֲשֶׁר־שָׂ֣ם מֹשֶׁ֔ה לִפְנֵ֖י בְּנֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃ תּוֹרָ֥ה צִוָּה־לָ֖נוּ מֹשֶׁ֑ה מוֹרָשָׁ֖ה קְהִלַּ֥ת יַעֲקֹֽב׃ הָאֵל֮ תָּמִ֢ים דַּ֫רְכּ֥וֹ אִמְרַֽת־יְהֹוָ֥ה צְרוּפָ֑ה מָגֵ֥ן ה֝֗וּא לְכֹ֤ל ׀ הַחֹסִ֬ים בּֽוֹ׃

Before reading the Torah:
הַשֵּׁם עִמָּכֶם.
יְבָרֶכְךָ הַשֵּׁם.
 

 .בָּרְכוּ אֶת יְהֹוָה הַמְּבֹרָךְ
.בָּרוּךְ יְהֹוָה הַמְּבֹרָךְ לְעוֹלָם וָעֶד
.בָּרוּךְ יְהֹוָה הַמְּבֹרָךְ לְעוֹלָם וָעֶד

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְהֹוָה, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּחַר בָּנוּ מִכָּל הָעַמִּים וְנָתַן לָנוּ אֶת תּוֹרָתוֹ. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְהֹוָה, נוֹתֵן הַתּוֹרָה:
 אמן.

After reading the Torah:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְהֹוָה, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר נָתַן לָנוּ אֶת תּוֹרָתוֹ תּוֹרַת אֱמֶת, וְחַיֵּי עוֹלָם נָטַע בְּתוֹכֵנוּ. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְהֹוָה, נוֹתֵן הַתּוֹרָה:
אמן.

Beracha recited before the reading of the Haftara:

Mi Sheberach, the Jewish prayer for healing, is one of the most meaningful prayers in Judaism. It is a public prayer or blessing for an individual or group, most often recited in synagogue when the Torah is being read. 

He who blessed our fathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Moses and Aaron, David and Solomon, may he heal ___ who is ill. May the Holy One, blessed be he, have mercy and speedily restore him to perfect health, both spiritual and physical; and let us say, Amen.

מִי שֶׁבֵּרַךְ אֲבוֹתֵֽינוּ, אַבְרָהָם יִצְחָק וְיַעֲקֹב, משֶׁה וְאַהֲרֹן, דָּוִד וּשְׁלֹמֹה, הוּא יְבָרֵךְ וִירַפֵּא אֶת הַחוֹלֶה ___. הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא יִמָּלֵא רַחֲמִים עָלָיו לְהַחֲלִימוֹ וּלְרַפֹּאתוֹ, לְהַחֲזִיקוֹ וּלְהַחֲיוֹתוֹ, וְיִשְׁלַח לוֹ מְהֵרָה רְפוּאָה שְׁלֵמָה, רְפוּאַת הַנֶּֽפֶשׁ וּרְפוּאַת הַגּוּף; וְנֹאמַר אָמֵן.

Tefilat HaDerech (Hebrew: תפילת הדרך), also known as the Traveler’s Prayer or Wayfarer’s Prayer in English, is a prayer for safe travel recited by Jews when traveling by air, sea, or long car trips. It is recited at the start of every journey, preferably standing, but this is not required. It is frequently inscribed on hamsas, which may also include the Shema or Birkat HaBayit prayer.

In the “Blessing of Thanksgiving” (Birkat HaGomel), persons in four different categories should express gratitude to God for His compassion toward them:
One who has done one of the following: a) traveled across the ocean (by an international flight, etc.); b) traversed the desert; c) recovered from a very serious illness; d) been released from prison.
All other potentially fatal circumstances that one escapes, such as a wall crumbling on him, an ox goring him, thieves, auto accidents, etc., fall under the category of desert.

The reader recites:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה’ אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם הַגּוֹמֵל לְחַיָּבִים טוֹבוֹת שֶׁגְּמָלַנִי כָּל טוֹב.

 
The congregations responds:

מִי שֶׁגְמַלְךָ כֹּל טוֹב הוּא יִגְמַלְךָ כֹּל טוֹב סֶלָה.

NameSymbolSephardi
Sof passukב׃‎סוֹף פָּסֽוּק‎
Sof pasuk
Etnachtaב֑‎אַתְנָ֑ח‎
Atnaḥ
Segolב֒‎סְגוֹלְתָּא֒‎
Segolta
Shalsheletב֓‎שַׁלְשֶׁ֓לֶת‎
Šalšeleþ
Zakef katanב֔‎זָקֵף קָט֔וֹן‎
Záqéf Qáţown
Zakef gadolב֕‎זָקֵף גָּד֕וֹל‎
Záqéf Ggádowl
Tifchaב֖‎טַרְחָ֖א‎
Tarḥa
Riviaב֗‎רְבִ֗יע‎
Revia
Zarkaב֮‎זַרְקָא֮‎
Zarqa
Pashtaב֙‎קַדְמָא֙‎
Qadma
Shene pashtinב֨‎ב֙‎תְּרֵ֨י קַדְמִין֙‎
Tere qadmin
Yetivב֚‎יְ֚תִיב‎
Yetiv
Tevirב֛‎תְּבִ֛יר‎
Tviyr
Pazerב֡‎פָּזֶר גָּד֡וֹל‎
Pazer gadol
Qarne farahב֟‎קַרְנֵי פָרָ֟ה‎
Qarne farah
Telisha gedolaב֠‎תִּ֠רְצָה‎
Tirtzah
Gereshב֜‎גְּרִ֜ישׁ‎
Gerish
Gershayimב֞‎שְׁנֵי גְרִישִׁ֞ין‎
Shene gerishin
Munachב׀‎פָּסֵ֣ק׀‎
Paseq
Merchaב֥‎מַאֲרִ֥יךְ‎
Maarich
Munachב֣‎שׁוֹפָר הוֹלֵ֣ךְ‎
Shofar holech
Mahpachב֤‎‏(שׁוֹפָר) מְהֻפָּ֤ךְ‎
(Shofar) mehuppach
Dargaב֧‎דַּרְגָּ֧א‎
Ddarggá
Kadmaב֨‎אַזְלָ֨א or קַדְמָ֨א‎
Azla or Qadma[18]
Telisha ketanaב֩‎תַּלְשָׁא֩‎
Talsha
Mercha kefulaב֦‎תְּרֵי טַעֲמֵ֦י‎
Tere ta’ame
Yerach ben yomoב֪‎יֵרֶח בֶּן יוֹמ֪וֹ‎
Yeraḥ ben yomo

Spanish-Portuguese custom

זַרְקָא֮ מַקַּף־שׁוֹפָר־הוֹלֵ֣ךְ סְגוֹלְתָּא֒ פָּזֵר גָּד֡וֹל תַ֠לְשָׁא תִּ֩ילְשָׁא אַזְלָ֨א גֵּ֜רֵישׁ פָּסֵק  ׀  רָבִ֗יעַ שְׁנֵי־גֵרֵישִׁ֞ין דַּרְגָ֧א תְּבִ֛יר מַאֲרִ֥יךְ טַרְחָ֖א אַתְנָ֑ח שׁוֹפָר־מְהֻפָּ֤ךְ קַדְמָא֙ תְּרֵ֨י־קַדְמִין֙ זָקֵף־קָט֔וֹן זָקֵף־גָּד֕וֹל שַׁלְשֶׁ֓לֶת תְּרֵי־טַעֲמֵ֦י יְ֚תִיב סוֹף־פָּסֽוּק׃

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