A guide to the sacred traditions of engagement and the pre-wedding period in Sephardic communities.
The Tena’im, or “conditions,” is a traditional engagement contract that formalizes the commitment between the couple and their families. This written document outlines the details of the upcoming wedding, including the date and financial agreements. In many communities, it is a legally binding document.
The signing of the Tena’im is a deeply significant moment, often celebrated with a special meal (seudat mitzvah). After the document is signed, it is a symbolic custom for the mothers of the bride and groom to break a plate. This act, known as “breaking the plate,” signifies the seriousness and permanence of the commitment, just as a broken plate can never be fully restored. It also alludes to the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and is a powerful reminder of Jewish continuity.
One of the most vibrant and beloved Sephardic pre-wedding traditions is the Henna ceremony. This is a festive celebration, typically held the week before the wedding, that brings together the families and friends of the couple. The ceremony revolves around the symbolic application of henna paste to the hands of the bride and groom.
The henna, a plant-based dye, is believed to bring good fortune, prosperity, and blessings to the couple. The elaborate designs painted on the bride’s hands and feet are meant to ward off evil and protect her from the evil eye. The ceremony is a lively event, filled with singing, dancing, and traditional Moroccan or Yemenite music. The bride and groom often wear beautiful, ornate traditional robes, creating a truly spectacular atmosphere.
The Shabbat Hatan (Groom’s Sabbath) is the Shabbat immediately before the wedding. It is a time for the groom to be publicly honored in the synagogue by his community. During the Shabbat morning service, the groom is called up to the Torah for an aliyah (an honor to recite a blessing over the Torah). The community celebrates him by throwing candies and sweets as he returns to his seat, symbolizing the sweetness and blessings they wish for his future.
This Shabbat is a culmination of a week of blessings and communal prayers for the couple. It is a public acknowledgment of the groom’s status and a joyous show of support from the community.
While the Ketubah is formally signed at the wedding ceremony, its preparation is a vital pre-wedding step. This Jewish marriage contract is a legal document that outlines the groom’s obligations to his bride. The text is often written in Aramaic and serves as a testament to the couple’s commitment. In many Sephardic communities, the Ketubah itself is a work of art, with intricate illustrations and calligraphy.
The preparation of the Ketubah is a serious undertaking that involves the rabbi and witnesses, ensuring the document is ready for the couple’s sacred moment under the chuppah.
